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Saturday, May 15, 2010

MP's Aunt Went To Heaven

Friday - 14th May 2010

I was awaken by a phone call from MP *he was at the office* *I kat rumah lagi,,,,,,tidur lagi......liat sungguh nak bangun pagi ni tapi kena pergi studio* , he told me that Mak Uda Sarah *his arwah mummy's elder sister* had just passed away peacefully just after having her breakfast at her home in Larkin , Johore Bahru. She died at the age of 83.

Pada mulanya the spontaneous plan to the sad news was to rush back to JB. MP suruh I bersiap , he's on the way home , pergi ambil Yna kat sekolah and shoot off to JB.........but.........after putting down the phone with MP , I started thinking...........

No.....I don't want to go back to JB........why?

Hahhhhhhhh.......maybe to some of you or maybe most of you or perhaps all of you my dear gentle will think that I'm not being reasonable or whatever perceptions you might have towards me regarding my actions but like always,,,,,,,I think differently.

It may sound selfish but YES! I think of myself first then others. In this case , I have to.....

After thinking.......I made few calls to a dear friend & an ustazah telling them about my condition, asking about the hukum hakam & can I proceed with what's in my mind , they said YES! In my condition , I can do so and gave me the assurance that am not in the wrong by not visiting the deceased.

With that religious assurance I 'bravely' made a call to MP............'bravely' told him that I do not wanna follow him to JB........huhuhu! Berani sungguh I cakap macam tu kat MP........tapi of course laa.....I cakap baik-baik........mintak maaf dulu........then baru buka cerita.......

He took it well. His concerned was........afraid what family members will think if I & anak-anak tak ikut ziarah.........jangan nanti 1 day I melenting bila dengar family members kutuk I tak balik tengok Uda.......I told him , I tak peduli apa orang kata.......yang I peduli is what MP said. After I told him that I've spoken to an ustazah about it , he's OK with the whole idea.

Firstly , I have a baby......I know that Adriel will not be comfortable with the humidity & being around loads of people attending the funeral.......there will definitely be a lot of guests at the musolah or home of the deceased or the kubur........Adriel takkan nak didukung all the time & it will be a hassle to use his McLaren......above all , I will not be comfortable handling an active baby like Adriel in my jubah.......MP will surely be busy with his family members & with the guys.........naturally , I will be left at the woman's section handling Yna & Adriel by myself.

I know , many will shake your heads reading my'll say that many woman attended funerals with their babies & kids in tow. Well , I am not those super women. No , sorry,,,,,,,I am not one of them. I cannot do what they did. So , I choose not to go. That's why I needed for MP to say OK to my decision of not going.

Secondly , MP *....and me.....and my kids* are not in speaking terms with both of MP's female siblings. If I go , I will definitely bump into them. Oh! Please! I'm so not into seeing those stupid idiot witches! I'm OK with the rest of MP's family members , MP's cousins and all in JB-Muar....but not with these 2 horrible women who've made MP's life miserable with many false accusations to their own brother , own flesh & blood. MP's life now , my life now is so relax not having to deal with them both in any way.........SO,,,,,if I go to the funeral , I'll have to sit among them in the woman's section with my kids *not forgetting grumpy Adik Mok*........wooohooooo! Imagining & picturing the situation in my mind made me so uncomfortable........No thank you. Am excusing myself from being put into such situation........again , that's why I needed for MP to say OK to my decision of not going.

Thirdly , Mak Uda died in the morning & family members in JB decided to burry her after solat Jumaat. And by the time MP gets home from the office it will be 11am-ish. He has more or less 2 hours to reach JB if he wanna catch a glimpse of his late Mak Uda..........with me & the kids tagging along , it will only delay his movements.......He's the important one , not me. So , he should be there. I can perform my solat ghaib & send arwah Mak Uda my prayers from here.

I don't have anyone to take care of my kids. Yes , my mom ada tapi she's taking care of 2 more cucu's at home. Kalau tinggalkan Adriel dengan my mom , she'll have to bangun buat susu 2-3 kali at night........No laah,,,,,,I do not want to burden my mom with my responsibilities when I still have a choice to look after my own kids.

Kalau I ada maid,,,,,,,,,,,,,tak de masalah.......maid boleh ikut I ke JB , tinggalkan budak-budak kat hotel dengan maid & I boleh attend the funeral. Like I said,,,,,,,in this case , I was told that taking care of my kids comes first & visiting the deceased comes second. 1 jatuh tanggungjawab wajib & 1 jatuh sunat.......

Tapi........kalau lah my parent's or my family members I yang meninggal takkan laa I nak buat macam ni.......on my side ada yang boleh I harapkan untuk tengok-kan my baby waktu I kena buat urusan penting.....ada neighbours yang boleh tolong & etc.....I'm talking now family belah MP yang I jarang-jarang jumpa.........we're family but we seldom see each other. Susah jugak kalau I nak suruh-suruh orang tengokkan my kids. Hmmmmm........entah lah.....nak cakap pun tak reti......MP dengan his side of the relatives ni lain sikit. MP kenal sedara-mara dia tapi dia jenis tak mencari.......dia suka sendiri & buat hal dia. Nothing much I can say.

Kalau I ikut ke rumah Uda kat Larkin tu & Adik Mok mula tak selesa sebab panas & what nots.......I'll go & stay in the car.....start engine , on air-cond.........orang yang tak tahu , lagi akan mengata.....lagi orang pop-pet , pop-pet kata I mengada-ngada lepak dalam kereta & etc. Kalau family members tahu I turun JB tapi duduk kat hotel & tak pergi melawat..........pun akan timbul speku bodoh jugak.

MP fully understood my reasons and he was so OK with it. Alhamdulillah. Dia OK , I OK.....kalau orang lain tak OK......tu problem depa laah.

Mak Uda with Yna & baby Adriel during raya 2008.

MP with his Mak Uda......she was all he had after his mom passed away.

May Mak Uda's soul rest-in-peace. Amien.........Al-Fatihah.

1 comment:

  1. Hi! Babe... just googling on sekinchan ikan bakar and found ur interesting blog... and i hv came to this part... i have sumthing to share actually... we r alomost in the same situation... the diff is tht my own MIL pass away... but instead of me not wanting to visit bcos me also have few wicked witches in the form of a SILs... my hubby are kind enuff suggesting me nt going... his reason is tht..he will pity me just in case those wicked wiches will use these opportunities to kenakan me...