RUMAH CINTA

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

~ DISCLAIMER ~

Please do note that this is a personal web-log. Views expressed here are of my personal views. Usage of any personal photos & posts are prohibited and are not allow to copy , paste , show & publish any photos & posts taken from this web-log anywhere without my consent & permission. If so I have the rights to render the person , group & in short anyone posting / publishing / showing / pasting / copying them liable to legal action or prosecution. Thank you.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

My Birthday : With My Friends

My birthday celebration continues on February 19th with an outing with my friends from 12pm till few minutes to almost 12am! Bravo Rima! *and MP was only mid-mad with me.....hehehe!*

Earlier I sent Yna to Kak Aida's house and then rushed to send Adriel to my parent's place. Kak Aida later fetch me at my parent's. Kak Aida nak belanja birthday lunch.....yezzzeeerrrr! She invited Normi & Bob along. Sweet!


Sementara tunggu Bob & Normi , Kak Aida basuh kereta dia dulu.....Panas terik so kitaorang tak turun kereta.....snow wash lagi....tetap maintain dalam kereta....hehehe!


Kak Aida bawak lunch kat Maytower Hotel , near area Masjid India.


My 1st meal....had some roast beef slices & vegetables. 2nd meal.....some rice - ayam masak kicap - asam pedas ikan apa entah - roasted potatoes - japanese tofu.


Then it's dessert time , some kuih melayu & 2 small bowls of bubur kacang. Lama tak makan bubur kacang. Haaaa......yang sayur-sayur dalam mangkuk tu , is actually ulam. Depa hidang dalam mangkuk-mangkuk comel ni.......


Why we ate here was because one of my senior Kak Jora kerja kat sini. But she's moving to a new hotel in a few months. The last time I datang makan kat Maytower ni dengan Kak Aida & Kak Jora was when I was pregnant in May or June 2008.


Group photo , Aida - Rima - Jora - Normi - Bob............


Sebelum naik lift......ambil gambar lagi dong.....
Bye Kak Jora , see you at the reunion naaaa...


Lepas lunch , hantar Normi & Bob balik kat Esso Ampang Jaya where we forced them to park their car...hehehe! Hey,,,,thanx for the birthday gift ya....


Lepas lunch we went to fetch Sara & Yna at Aida's house , bawak diaorang pergi tengok stage play Grease kat KLpac. It's a play staged by students of Mutiara International Grammar School. Ni first time nak jejak KLpac sejak ianya dibuka. I pun tak tahu kat mana but last few weeks I ada bercakap pasal KLpac with a friend of mine and roughly got the picture of where KLpac is situated.

Hmmmm..........azab kena jalan. Kalau ada driver hantar , boleh terus turun depan pintu. Kalau tak de driver hantar........kena laa menapak macam we all kena hari tu. From where we parked , we had to walk nun ke bangunan yang sayup kat hujung tu. And bila dah sampai *2nd pic yna & sara*......tu dia view ke parking lot.........yang nampak pokok kenit-kenit tu......kalau malam.....pakai heels lagi......nangis oooo.....


Tapi bila masuk ruang dalam KLpac ni.......tak dinafikan , terasa macam theater house kat overseas........tak malu laa Malaysia ada tempat macam ni. There's also a cozy bistro as you enter the lobby. Nice!


While waiting for the show & tunggu guest of honour , Datin Seri Tiara Jacquelina @ Jaq or Jackie *to fellow St Marian's* @ Harun *to me* we lepak-lepak at the bistro , had Milo Ice......air-air setan pun ada dijual di sini *hmmmm......why aaaa?*


Makan lagi.....french fries & fried calamari


The girls...........


Seriously , I was so sleepy bila masuk 2nd scene of the play.......Grease......great songs......tapi I menguap non-stop & fell asleep kejap! I've seen Sri Inai Senior staged the play years back *masa my mom was still teaching at the school* and enjoyed myself back then. Mana laa I tak boring,,,,,OK,,,,,understood that it's a stage play......ada scene where the Pink Ladies makan kat canteen sekolah depa tapi dalam tray makan yang diaorang bawak tu tak de makanan langsung! Why? Props makanan tu susah sangat nak sediakan ke? Props kereta yang besar & berat depa boleh adakan.....props rokok pun depa boleh adakan......props botol arak depa boleh adakan......props makanan.....sekian.....tak dak......budak-budak perempuan tu kena laa kunyah angin & acting suap makanan ke mulut.....cam siol je. Part nyanyi & lagu......overlapping singing. Adrenna pun boleh buat.....duhhh!



Tiada kompromi about this.....don't say that it's just a school play so it's acceptable. Hello! Sekarang students dah banyak facilities........they can pre-record their own voice singing those songs.......kat sekolah ada computer facilities , ada music studio & what nots,,,,,,,lain laa zaman I buat concert sekolah dulu. Memang sengsara. Ni microphone yang sangkut kat mulut macam budak-budak AF pakai masa nyanyi "Menuju Puncak" tu , bukan macam kat sekolah menengah I dulu......main gantung sana , gantung sini.....silap-silap kena pakai mic yang kat rostrum untuk perform....haru je bunyi.

The school production sepatutnya betul-betul pilih casts , ambil students yang layak......tapi , I dah faham sangat in-house politics kat sekolah-sekolah swasta ni.....kalau anak somebody , tak de bakat ke.....blurr ke.....will be chosen to be prefect ke , ambil post-post penting in plays & etc in school. Officials sekolah tu macam lupa pulak yang anak kita yang tak VIP ni pun bayar yuran sekolah sama macam anak-anak VIP tu.....macam haram jadah jugak kadang dengan sekolah swasta ni. Masih praktik-kan 'antara dua darjat' syndrome kat sekolah. Boleh belah lah.......*hmmmm......lepas geram kejap , actually I memang marah bila tengok budak-budak sekarang yang ada opportunity to perform kat tempat yang bagus , spoon fed dengan macam-macam kemudahan tapi sambil lewa je bila perform*

So , back to the play..........yang I betul-betul tepuk tangan was when this student , watak dia as a band singer with a rock band.......hanya dia sorang je yang nyanyi life & the band main live. No doubt nyanyian dia & the band was playing all over the place.........I tetap tepuk & I noticed audience lain pun dapat appreciate effort yang ditunjukkan oleh these kids coz they performed live! Biar pun ke laut but better than miming.


Ni time break.........photo time.....


Lepas tengok show we went for dinner at Johnny's , Jusco AU2. I tengok phone ada 1 miss call.....alamak from MP laa.....cepat-cepat call dia saying that I baru habis tengok show & on the way nak pergi dinner. I ajak dia dinner sekali tapi dia tak nak. Mulanya dia kata dia ada dinner meeting tapi canceled last minute......fast foward......dia suruh I belikan dia nasi putih 2 bungkus. Dia nak buat nasi goreng. Sebelum I bungkuskan nasi putih for MP , I called him again.....I said why not I just tapau-kan dia nasi goreng ke , mee goreng ke.....tak payah laa nanti nak masak malam-malam buta.....Nope. Dia nak nasi putih jugak. OK , wa beli lu nasi putih je laa beb.

Peeps , when we got to Jusco AU2 from Sentul *KLpac is in Sentul West* , it was already 9pm-ish. We went to Jusco AU2 coz Kak Aida nak fetch anak teruna dia kat area sekolah Yna. Sebab tu we diverted to Jusco AU2 on the way back to Ampang for dinner. Dengan nak order lagi , nak makan lagi , then Kak Aida nak kena hantar I to my parent's house kat Ampang lagi coz nak ambil Adriel lagi.......pukul berapa I nak sampai rumah dengan nasi putih for MP tu? I hairan.....since meeting dia tak jadi malam ni , awat dia tak boleh keluar pergi beli dinner or the nasi putih yang dia nak sangat tu? Why wanna wait for me to bring it home for him since he know that I'll be home late?

It's a small thing as nasi putih je. Tapi itu lah antics from MP yang I kena put up with most of the time. Especially bila it's my turn to have a little bit of fun *sigh* Fun pun , I keluar dengan my girlfriends & anak-anak , bukan nya dengan kengkawan perempuan yang tak baik or kengkawan lelaki ke.....or anything near that! Bosan.

Buying him nasi putih is his way of making me feel guilty for being out of the house from siang ke malam. Alamak , bukan nya hari-hari I ronda-ronda keliling kota dengan kawan-kawan I pun. But to him......still , I have to be punished emotionally. Like I said , kalau dulu......terasa laa siksanya emosi tu tapi sejak Adriel lahir , I'm a changed person. I couldn't be bothered with his psycho & mind games. I've built this firewall around me and it's getting stronger each day. My issues with MP are those tiny-tiny ones.....like kemas rumah....masak ke tidak....nak ikut jalan mana.....you know , domestic things like that. The issue is small but his ego yang accompany each issue is very grand,,,,,,,tu yang jadi masalah tu besar.

MP tak boleh tolerate even kalau ada orang park kereta kat depan rumah kita. He'll be extremely mad! As for me , it's a small thing , problem yang boleh diselesaikan tanpa nak kecoh-kecoh. Kalau kita nak keluar , just honk lah.....orang yang park kereta depan rumah tu for sure akan alih-kan kereta dia tapi for MP , it's a no. To him , ianya menyusahkan dia ?????? to him that is a very big thing. Kat situ yang kami selalu tak selahuan. We'll ended up arguing because someone parked the car in front of our house. Kalau I cakap lebih sikit , he'll say that I memang-kan orang lain. Alamak....leceh aaa.....That's not what I meant. Apapun dia tetap betul & MP tak boleh tolak ansur......langsung. Tapi kalau dia buat,,,,,,boleh pulak.

Our problem bukannya masalah ada perempuan lain or partner kaki pukul ke or partner kuat minum ke or even verbal abuse yang guna perkataan lucah ke.....we don't have those problems , yet,,,,,,insya'allah......tapi tu lah........walaupun isunya kecil tapi disimpan *I simpan for the sake of peace & in hope that my partner will change one day*......now dah nak masuk 10 tahun I pendam , member tak berubah pun , lagi teruk ada laa......I dah tak de ruang dalam diri nak simpan lagi. Yang I takut sekarang ni kalau I burst.......apa jadi kalau I burst?

Tak guna I cakap dengan orang pun.......balik-balik the advise will be.....ingat anak-anak....Ni I ingatkan anak-anak laa ni yang I masih bertahan. Kalau I fikir diri I sorang,,,,,dah lama wa angkat kaki jalan beb. That's why I tak nak stress in my life. I have to be mentally strong & healthy for my kids. Kalau I mereng? Macam mana nak jaga anak-anak? I tak nak hilang privillage to take care of my kids. I want to be with them no matter what.

Sekarang my approach is very simple. Anything yang I nak buat , I will seek MP's permission first. Why? Sebab seburuk mana & sebaik mana pun MP , dia tetap syurga neraka I lagi. Kalau MP kata boleh.....OK. Kalau MP kata tak boleh.....I OK-kan situasi. Cari altenative lain. Tak payah nak gaduh-gaduh or tak payah nak lawan-lawan cakap. Tak guna. Apapun yang jadi walaupun sekecil kuman , Allah maha tahu. Dia nampak , Dia rasa apa yang I rasa sebab semua yang I rasa sekarang ni datang dari Dia. In short , He knows what I had to go through before I even had to go through it. It's all from Him. All I know , He is not cruel. Adalah plan yang Dia sedang aturkan untuk I. Plan Dia pasti yang terbaik. So , knowing that He is testing me......I will have to be patient.

Using the Law Of Attraction , each day I have this picture of a blissfully happy life that am hoping to have in future. I want to go there and I understand,,,,,,for me to reach to that happy state of life that I'm holding on in my mind......I have to go through this pace of life first. And by understanding that......I accept. Redha is the word. I gladly go through anything now in order to be where I wanted later. As for now , I'll keep on asking Him everyday to give me what I want & have faith in Him that He'll take me there......He will. He will. Amin.

Cuma,,,,,,as a human......I buat silap jugak. I menulis ni pun dah silap dah....tapi I tiada niat lain but to release what's bugging me inside. Tak de bezanya kalau I pergi mengadu kat shrink pun coz still , I'll be telling someone about what's bugging me.....in a way , I got many private email , YM & etc from my blog readers sharing thier experiences with me and I'm very honoured that these women trusted me to share their personal life stories with me. I know now that many woman out there has their own 'MP's' , some lagi teruk dari my 'MP'. I know that I'm not alone.

My mother , a Guru Penolong Kanan at Sri Inai Senior School before.....a certified counselor by profession , she made good money........married to an ego man more or less like MP. She too had to face more or less the same set of problems like me *tapi my dad is not as bad as MP laaa....* , all she did was to keep quiet. Now I know that she did it for us & for the sake of peace. She tolerated my dad for 39 years!

Yes,,,,,I cried at times sebab tak tahan dengan antics from MP.....tapi I will snapped out of the misery fast. I tak nak layan perasaan sedih tu lama-lama.......It's not healthy for me , not healthy for my mind & not healthy for my soul. I'll turn to songs. I'll sing happy songs not sad & sorrow ones...hehehe!


So , that's how my day ended. 1 miss call & 2 packs of nasi putih partly spoiled my wonderful day out.....*sigh*. Oh! well........I've discarded the nasi putih episode from my newly celebrated 38th year of my life......*am writing it down for me to remember my own story*. Am now looking forward to obtain a new life , new carrier , new home , new me , new partner , new child , new marriage , new romance , new family.............yes,,,,,,I want everthing new!


A note for me : Thank you so much Kak Aida for making today possible for me. I love you. You know that I love you , right? *smile*

5 comments:

  1. Hi Rima,

    Masih belum terlambat untuk i nak wish HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!!!

    I doakan you sentiasa sihat, murah rezeki and berjaya dalam hidup you. i harap juga you kuat dan tabah menharungi apa jua dugaan, demi anak2 kan.

    Allah kasih hamba Nya yg sabar, kita tgk kebawah, kekadang ade org yg lebih hebat dugaannya.

    MP tu avtually sayang yo so much tapi ego yg melampau so tak tunjuk la kan. you know him better kan, look at positive sight. hehehe

    anyway, Happy Birthday ye.

    Siti

    ReplyDelete
  2. Happy Birthday Rima! May you have a good one!

    ReplyDelete
  3. k'rima.... bukan kurang pun martabat mereka klu direndahkan ego sebagai seorang lelaki dan suami kan... memnag xdapat nak pahami lelaki yg bersikap begini... atas dasar apa mereka melakukan ini semua...tidakkah isteri untuk dikasihi dan disayangi?.... adakala mental abuse ni lbh teruk dari physical..... saya doakan yg terbaik untuk akak.... amin.. (ya ALLAH maha mengetahui)

    ReplyDelete
  4. salam kak...
    im one of ur silent reader.. sorry to say..
    dulu i suke masuk ur blog sbb nk tgk ur cooking..ur story about ur family etc etc yg i rase bestt dooo...n sweet also..
    tp skrg i rase lebih banyak cerita pasal ur ketidak puasan hati terhadap ur MP.. i know this is ur blog n its up to you nk tulis ape pun kan.. tp kdg2 tulisan u boleh membuatkan orang buat negative judgement terhadap ur Mp...i think ur mp loves u so much.. tp sbb ego nye yg terlampau2.. tu yg dia tk tunjuk.. apepun i rasa u were blessed with great n happy famly... i doakan u berjaya di dalam setiap apa yang u lakukan n may ur bisnes with ur kak siti berjaya...amin....

    ReplyDelete
  5. ina dear........

    are you married?

    but anyways......this is a phase of life that i have to go through daily. yes , i'm blessed with materials but spiritually drained. maybe you are lucky to be having a partner that's supportive but not all of us have supportive partners darling.

    i write what i went through daily....i never asked anyone to judge my partner or me. i make mistakes , he make mistakes , we all make mistakes........i write it down for my own personal note.

    I know MP loves me but it's hard to live when he does not speak of it. i need to hear words of love sometimes from my partner but after 10 years? I got suffocated. MP is a human being , I am a human being so we should treat human being with respect & passion & not let ego win.

    So,,,,,like you said....MP loves me so much but never ever say it out....hmmmmm.....if you are in my shoes.....can you live with such a man? Good if you can. I did too but I've come to a point that I needed to breath. Darling , there's more to my story.....which I did not write & keep things to myself. I didn't write everything that's going on in my life. still kena censor.....

    I don't want to go and see a shrink , I don't like to talk about deeper personal stuff to strangers or to my parents or my friends......so this is my way of handling & channeling my emotional stress.

    Well , I respect your thoughts for disagreeing with what I'm doing but that is your opinion. Thank your lucky star for not having to go through what I went through with your partner.

    I wish you the best in your relationships so that you wont end up having problems like me. But when you do , only then you will know why I write instead of consoling to others or perhaps end up in a syariah court! I love my family.....so I still write about it. I didn't write for you....I didn't write for anyone....I write for myself.

    Cheers darling! You take care.

    ReplyDelete